just got back from nus geography challenge, sli rehearsal and astro.

i really cannot comprehand people, why some are just simply unable to understand how people think. perhaps it is unintended for, but the damage is still none the less, irepairable. 

really, i dont noe why i still allow people to touch things which have personal and important information which i hold important. i already noe that its so easily accessible, yet i usually think that nothing that bad will happen, when it does it is usually nothing that bad. yet, i still allow this to happen again and again, and this time its perhaps the worst. maybe people are just unable to or do not value certain objects the same way as others, perhaps its just something that i will have to be forced to live with.

now my mind is in a state of blank, this feeling of emptiness, hollowness, i can never get over the idea and feeling of losing tons of irreplacable data, it is like losing part of yourself, part of ur memories, especially when it was not to be expected, it only makes everything worst.

perhaps this goes to show again and again, that the only person who can be trusted to not screw up any and every aspect of one's life is oneself. no one else can be trusted to not damage, destory, something that has so much personal value, that simply cannot be appreciated by anyone else. 

perhaps it is just simply that all anyone cares about in the end is simply their own intrest, way above that of anything or anyone else, no matter how the person may appear, protecting one's own intrest will always be the top priority of anyone, and really they cant be blamed, its obviously totally alright to be a sefish self centric person, how can the person be blamed? it is what society has developed into, it is what all of us a individuals have been shaped into by society, in the end, it will always be about one thing. 

perhaps i need to mend and cover up that weakness, to be too trusting and naive about such things, perhaps i will never be able to completely overcome that either and history will just keep repeating itself. 

perhaps, such an ideal of people understanding each other and being able to uphold the same values for other's as they do for their own is just an ideal.

perhaps its my own selfishness as well, hoping others to be such, i myself perhaps have done such acts unintentionally before, perhaps i am still doing it, but at least now i have realized such a problem does occur in our society and having known such a thing, i will as much as possible within my own capacity, never commit such crimes.

perhaps all i can do now is to prevent such a thing from recuring yet again. and perhaps this feeling will never resurface again.