euu typedd*:
blog
(Saturday, July 21, 2007-)
+7/21/2007 12:21:00 AM]*
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went for crosss country cum 2.4 running test. i think i did alot better this year but it still sucks shyt, i mean who the hell gets 73/100 for the stupid thing, i can barely even push myself to finish the stupid thing and i hear thing like " shyt man, i got only 9th this year" "damn, my timming is only 11min" or some cr@p like that, and i got like what?
i really need to run more, its just stupid that i could even fail last year, at least this year i think i didnt, but my timming is still bullcrap. i should really try running a few rounds by myself, after p.e or somthing... there's 2 hours of break on friday, and lots more before astro... i nust get at least 30 next year...
after the run went to macs with the rest of the class. did'nt take the vouchers from the prize we won eariler this year, did'nt want do anything to degrade my conscience to a point that i will take something that i did'nt even earn... its just not right. really hope my next year's class will have better class spirit and togetherness then the rut i am currently in, though there are some people i hope i can still see next year... with some luck and prayer maybe...
after a really retarded mac lunch, went out with Bryce, Shoun, Joanna, Adeline, Xinyuan, Si ying, Ping liang, Wei jin. went to rent bikes nearby. can't believe that bryce and si ying cannot ride and bryce has never rode a bike before. at least they managed to accomplish somthing today by learning to finally being able to cycle after about 1- 1 1/2 hours.
i don't know why but for some reason i like just sitting down and looking at waves, like at the shore near the bridge at the floating platform after ndp training, then today was the sea, first while waiting for the rest of the class to finish some lame game, then later at the break water while waiting for the rest of them to finish playing with the sand. its just a very good time and enviroment to do reflections and think about what has been done, what is happening, and what i should do now, especially for certain delicate matters that require special attendtion. even so just sitting or leaning over the railings and watching the waves is just simply relaxing, especially when there is the whole wide ocean in front of you and you realise how small, how insignificant, how petty your own problems actually are in the wide world, and its even better in astro, you realise how tiny how insignificant the fighting, and conflict and the wars are compared to the wide universe spread out in front of you...
i really need help with this... i am not going to ever get anywhere at this rate, and currently all signs are pointing to the same result, failure... i failed once, in a similar situation, i have learnt from it and now it will be time to put it to the test... but the odds just stack up too high, i don't think i can scale it alone... its uesless... its just not possible...
the story ends like this;
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