euu typedd*:
blog
(Thursday, July 26, 2007-)
+7/26/2007 08:45:00 PM]*
# -
dunno what i am thinking about half the time these days, if its not work then its that otherwise its games, sometimes its just all kinds of totally random stuff, somtimes its some relfection, been doing alot of reflections of my actions, words, thoughts and deeds.
this past fews days ever since i recovered, been going through the same cycle, study, mug and work like crazy, next day slack like shyt, read manga, books lie about on the bed thinking... then next day, study mug and work like shyt again.
on wednesday was supposed to study for maths, chinese, biology and abit of english. but when i came back from ndp, was so tired that couldnt write more then a few words before surcumbing to fatigue. i know i should have tried to push on, but i was just to tired. been having too little sleep, too much games,being too easily distracted, unmotivated, unfocus, and wose of all with no clear goal. been living life day by day not planning ahead, not deciding what needs to be done first. maybe thats why i have not been able to accomplish anything so far... until now, all my motivations for anything to do anything have all been motivated by that one thought, that one thought gives me all the motivation to do pretty much anything, the driving force to why i still bother to go through so much sufferings and take on so many struggles in what would otherwise be a problem free world.
somehow managed to finish all the tests with not much of any major hiccups other then for maths. my maths toatllysux. cant even answer some stupid question that everybody else managed to do winot much of any problems. bio on the other hand was ok even with little study, on the other hand thats what i tought the last time and totally screwed up. cthem was stupid, the supposed "test" was a mock up one. it wasnt even a proper mock up test, it was open book! and what kind test has true, flase question.
i m only realising certain thing now, bio open my eyes recently really opened my eyes. cant believe that i have never realised it. i never expected there to be such politics amoung them, after all it was pretty subtle, as expected from them anyway, i mean they couldnt have been brutally ostracsizing her, that would be just very shocking. but even so i would never have expected them to even do somthing like that. and to think this happened right after i found out about it, i really didnt expect them to be outright against her, like i have never noticed it and one day after i find out about it, it happens outright in the open.
i dont know if i should have said it, even if i had known about it, i should'nt have said it, if i havent said it, maybe... ....
the story ends like this;
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